My laptop is BROKEN! UUUUUGH! Ok well my laptop is actually fine...but the charger is broken so I have no way of using it right now It will be at least 2 days until it is fixed. I am having to use my mom's crappy Dell until then and it is KILLING ME!!!!! I hate it! Everything is soooooo slow and backwards! UGH!

So anywho....this means it will be a little longer until I can post chapter 6 of the FanFan...I'm sorry it's taking me so long! There is actually a chapter written for 6...but I am having problems getting it posted because of something that happened this week...allow me to explain:

All of my FF7 life [ ] I have been a HUGE CloTi shipper. I believe that Cloud and Tifa were and are meant to be together but Aerith and Sephiroth and life in general keep getting in the way. My introduction to FF7 was, like most people I have found, a little backward. What I mean is, I watched Advent Children before I knew anything about the game, and then I read a summary of the game [which I later found out was written by a Clerith shipper ] It wasn't until fairly recently that I was actually able to purchase the game and play it (I JUST finished it this week)....This is a horrible thing I admit. Because of this, especially the FF7 summary full of Clerith biases, my entire FF7 life has been lived under the assumption that Tifa and Cloud were attracted to each other, but because of Cloud's guilt and love for Aerith, they were not able to be together...They just had this awkward tension between each other that was caused by things that were never said out loud. [aka I LOVE YOU! ]

So Advent Children took care of Cloud's guilt over Aerith's death but in my mind, at least from what I had been led to believe, he still had this leftover love for her standing in his way. So I started writing this fanfic to get rid of that love for Aerith. The entire fanfic was meant to be a typical CloTi story...Cloud broods over his relationship with Aerith while he longs to be with Tifa until something tragic/unexpected happens and he is finally forced to speak now or forever hold his peace. So that is what it has been so far. Problem is....I finished the game last week and really started thinking about the fact that the creators gave the player the options of being more interested in Aerith OR Tifa and depending on what dialog you choose, the scenes with each girl are varied. Especially the scene under the Highwind. I personally chose the Tifa responses throughout the game, so his relationship with Aerith was low and with Tifa high (as opposed to the summary I had read that chose the opposite) So when the Highwind scene came, Cloud waivers on the edge of telling Tifa he has feelings for her before she tells him that sometimes actions speak louder than words...blah blah blah...we all have our own opinions of what that means...

Then I re-read On the Way to a Smile and started to think about the things written there, this time without the pre-assumption that Cloud had strong feelings for both girls and that his feelings for Aerith were his reason for leaving and such. I began to realize that in each 'Case' there are significant hints that Cloud and Tifa are in fact IN a RELATIONSHIP after Advent Children. That they are indeed DATING while living together before Cloud finds Denzel and before he leaves the bar. I could go on and on explaining myself but I found an essay that pretty much says everything that I started to discover on my own...so just read it if you get the chance...its basically like this guy could read my mind! [link]

Anyway....long story short...now that all of this 'thinking' has happened...it has completely changed my way of viewing the actions of Advent Children and certainly what I think happened after the last scene. While I still think that Cloud would have gone to the church to tell Aerith that he didn't love her ever, I don't think that it would have been for the sake of Tifa or their relationship...it would have just been to allow Aerith to be with Zack. So now I am stuck with a story line that I no longer believe and its frustrating. But nonetheless I feel like I can still finish it...It will just take a little more time to make it work.

WOW! That was a ramble...and I have no idea if it makes sense...but oh well. That is all